He dates, like, every actress ever. I'm glad Mel's past that now. She doesn't need to date men who've dated Renee Zellweger.

IT DEFINITELY IS. I REFUSE TO READ ABOUT "YOU'RE SO FRENCH/YOU'RE SO GERMAN" AND ALL ABOUT THEIR CAPRI SHENANIGANS AND NOT BELIEVE THAT THERE WASN'T ANY FRANCO/GERMAN RELATIONS GOING ON. Because I'm perfectly sane and not a crackpot, that's why.

I think your efforts would pay off! If you were truly a creeper, you'd send them letters made out of magazine cut-outs that read, "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID IN CAPRI."
But they'd probably just blame that on Fassbender being a dick.