27 July 2011 @ 11:43 pm
Rain Dogs: The opening  
This is something I've been wanting to share, and always intended to: the opening series of scenes to my screenplay, Rain Dogs.

It's been said that the first 5-10 pages of a screenplay must be dynamic enough to capture the reader's attention. Hopefully, I've been able to do just that.

word count: 985 (three pages)



A BLACK SCREEN

The panicked footfalls and gasping struggles for breath of a running woman echo heavily throughout a cobblestone street.

FADE IN:

EXT. PARIS, FRANCE - NIGHT - PRESENT DAY

The still, beautifully fraught, wide-eyed face of a young woman, AVIVA CRÉMIEUX.  Hers is a haunting countenance; her pale skin marred with streaks of red as she bleeds profusely from a nasty gash above her forehead.  Despite this circumstance, Aviva retains her composure with her eyes fixedly directed in front of her.  In this moment, she is the center of the universe.

EXT. PARIS, FRANCE - NIGHT - FLASHFORWARD

Clad only in a white slip of a dressing gown, Aviva runs barefoot through the cobblestone streets of the city.  Even as the throbbing pain of her wound and the strain of her emotions bears down on her, Aviva cannot stop.

INT. REGISTRY OFFICE - DAY - FLASHBACK

Aviva stands in line in a pitiful excuse for an office, set up in a building that has been requisitioned by the occupying German forces.  Drab and sparse with far too bright lighting, French citizens from all walks of life queue up in line to register their status. With people lined up behind her, ahead of her, and bustling about around her, no one present, save for the NAZI SS OFFICERS handling the situation, is comfortable.  Milling about like pests are two SS OFFICERS filming the proceedings with a camera.  Their presence is at once irritating and intimidating as they pick and choose people in the line-up at seemingly random to focus in on.

Aviva is one of them.  The camera is in her face, but she refuses to acknowledge it.  The SS officers SPEAK to each other as they observe her, but she cannot understand them, a fact that they are well aware of.  As the SS officers find their amusement in Aviva, she cannot help but give their camera a glimpse from the corner of her eye.  It distracts her, enough for Aviva to not notice her turn in line.

Before her, seated behind a desk, is a higher ranking GERMAN OFFICER.  He is detached, efficient, and all business.  He speaks Aviva's language, though accented with his native tongue.  This, coupled with his demeanor, makes him an imposing figure.

GERMAN OFFICER
(in French, subtitled in English)
Your name?

EXT. PARIS, FRANCE - NIGHT - FLASHFORWARD

Aviva stays the course through the city streets.  Though she has no known destination in sight, she does not slow her pace.

INT. MUSIC HALL - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

Appropriately and magnificently dressed for the occasion, Aviva is seated in an orchestra pit.  As part of an ensemble, she plays her violin with zeal, providing the soundtrack to a theatrical spectacle.  But the stage is of no matter to Aviva.  Her full focus is on the instrument held within her hands.  She is lost to the music and her passion.

EXT. PARIS, FRANCE - NIGHT - PRESENT DAY

Aviva's stare is impenetrable.

AVIVA (V.O.)
(in French, subtitled in English)
My name is Aviva Crémieux.

EXT. PARIS, FRANCE - NIGHT - FLASHFORWARD

Aviva forces herself onward. Her breathing is now strenuous.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

Lost in ardor, Aviva MAKES LOVE with MANFRIED HERZ. Here, with each other, the two have their haven.  She clings tightly to him in a fervent embrace as his hands, never still, roam over her.  Together, their movements grow more demanding and more erratic. As their fervency increases, Aviva's CRIES grow high and keening.

EXT. PARIS, FRANCE - NIGHT - PRESENT DAY

In spite of everything that has led up to this moment, Aviva's mask of stoicism is sustained.  Steadily, she looks on.

AVIVA (V.O.)
(in French, subtitled in English)
If there is anything at all that I am to take from this --

EXT. PARIS, FRANCE - NIGHT - FLASHFORWARD

Aviva is losing her breath as she fights back the SOB caught in her throat, but to no avail.

INT. REGISTRY OFFICE - DAY - FLASHBACK

The SS officers filming Aviva have the camera far too close for comfort in her face.  But she is steadfast, staring down the German officer seated before her.  His next question for Aviva is one he has already determined the answer to.

GERMAN OFFICER
(in French, subtitled in English)
Your religion?

EXT. PARIS, FRANCE - NIGHT - PRESENT DAY

With her white slip and bloody wound, Aviva is a spectral sight as she stands barefoot in the street before Manfried.  Here, now, he wears the muted olive green uniform of a German Wehrmacht soldier. His distinctive, militaristic haircut is slightly mussed. Despite their given situation, he remains strikingly handsome.

Nearby them lay the DEAD bodies of two FRENCH POLICEMEN. Aviva and Manfried are flanked on either side by residential buildings, but the neighborhood seems eerily desolate. There are no other signs of life; it is as if the two of them are the last man and woman on earth.  Their eyes are fixed on one another; they neither move nor speak.

INT. REGISTRY OFFICE - DAY - FLASHBACK

Aviva gives in to the camera the SS officers have shoved in her face and she looks into it, unwaveringly.  She then turns her attention back to the German officer and answers him in the same manner with which he has spoken to her.

AVIVA
(in French, subtitled in English)
I am Jewish.

EXT. PARIS, FRANCE - NIGHT - PRESENT DAY

Aviva and Manfried are hanging by a thread.  His heart splits in two at not only the condition she is in, but for what their current state of affairs means for them both.  He wants to give of something, anything to her.  But try as he might, Manfried cannot find the proper words or gesture.

AVIVA (V.O.)
(in French, subtitled in English)
-- One cannot fight their fate.

 The thread breaks.

FADE OUT


 
 
se sentent: anxious
 
 
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http://suspiriorum.livejournal.com/: [act: AA] Victim with the saddest heart[identity profile] suspiriorum.livejournal.com on September 12th, 2011 11:47 pm (UTC)
There's so much I could go on about, really. The more I work with it, whether I'm writing it out or just playing over scenes and details in my head (which is frequently), the more it just builds and flows; it's a story that almost wants to tell itself once I'm in the right mindset.

Mine, as well! Near Dark and Manhunter are my ultimate favorites of their work, just for the atmosphere and emotion (Manhunter, especially, is an inspiration. The soundtrack is my all-time favorite).

Yes! It's to quickly and easily establish key elements for Aviva and Manfried so the story can pick up after the war. And absolutely, their love story is the focus; of how they still must fight to be together and how they came to be together in the first place.

Indeed, at its core, it is a love story. It first originally took place during the war, with a variety of other characters. As much I loved them, I wanted the focus to be on Aviva and Manfried, so I pushed it forward and dropped nearly everyone else (I'll save them for something else). I was initially apprehensive to share this others in the beginning, other than a couple close friends because of the delicate nature of the story and setting. Aside from Shoasanna and Fredrick and Zwartboek, there aren't any films that have really approached this kind of story. I understand why, but I think of how Verhoeven based Zwartboek off of a true story, and it made me wonder just how many people were like those characters and like Shosanna and Fredrick in real life.

At the heart of it, what leads Aviva to falling in love with Manfried is how human he is. There's a quite a bit involved here, but I'm keeping some of it under wraps, so as not to spoil you. Manfried is, much like Aviva, devoted to his family, which is, at the point they meet, only his mother - and she is the reason he's even fighting in the war. He served in the Afrika Korps, under Erwin Rommel. During the Siege of Tobruk, Manfried was wounded by shrapnel in his left side, leading to massive blood loss, as well as the loss of his left kidney. He's in Paris because of a commendation from Rommel, and after spending months in recovery, being given attention by a very beautiful French girl is very appealing to him. That's the thing of it, really; Manfried is in a very vulnerable condition, both mentally and to an extent, physically. Yet, he's very willing and ready to be open with Aviva, which initially gets to her. His intentions are very honest and kind, and her identity doesn't deter him. He is, I think, the first man she's ever been with, and she's the first, outside medical personnel, to see his scar.