I kinda get this, and so I kinda hate myself right now.

His films suck and he says things that consistently creep me out.

Yet because of Mr. Roth, I've discovered Italian films and actors I would have otherwise overlooked; Eli's knowledge and appreciation of horror, exploitation, and the Italian film industry in general is impressive. I've even been told that he's sweet as pie.

And yet...


Also, it kills me that he's all hairy and masculine in a very '70s European sleaze star kinda way.



Edited 2009-05-28 11:12 pm (UTC)

Seriously, he would have been in several ultra violent Italian Dirty Harry knock offs in the seventies. And at least one Giallo.

YES.
One of those Dirty Harry knock-offs would have him co-starring with Tomas Milian as his hardened detective mentor who stoically sacrifices himself by the end of the film. I imagine their adversary would be a brutal crime boss of sorts, played by Henry Silva.

He'd also manage to be in a cannibal film by the early '80s, then move on to standard Italian post-apocalyptic nonsense, especially those of the Terminator variety.

Kill him immediately after he's plowed you into the next century?

I think that'll be the course of action. Or as germanpanther told me, "Go praying mantis on him."

She also quickly added, "I'll be quiet."
This leads me to believe that she would be present in the room as it all happens. Except, while he's pleading for help, she'll be sitting in a chair, staring into space.
And she'll quietly laugh to herself.
"Hehe. He said wessel."

AND GODDAMMIT I CAN'T STOP LOOKING.

Even all that gel in his hair doesn't deter my bizarre lust for him. I'm blaming it all on my uterus.