segnung | All is right in the world.

I... what... oh...

oh dear. Eli, you utter child. It's funny, though, I'm trying to work out who was using who here. Because... well, fangirls can be predatory.

It is funny and ridiculously sad on both sides. His essay, which basically boils down to seeing boobs on the internets, is cracking me up.

SAVE YOUR BRAINPOWER FOR WRITING FILMS, MR. ROTH.

Haha yeah. My thoughts boiled down to two things:

1) Wait... so what actually happened is he traded nude pics with some girls on the internet. Um. Eli, sweetie. I'm not sure anybody cares as much as you do.

2) WHAT?! Five minutes ago it was "Eli Roth knows about the fanfiction! Eek!" and then suddenly it's "we're having semi-cyber sex with Eli Roth omfg" and I just want to say god damn the internet for making everything SO FAST. SLLLLOOOWWW DDDOOOWWWNNN WWWOORRRRLLLDDD. I was gone for one day. ONE DAY.

Someone's mom should've barged in there and told them to all go to bed.

Also, because they moved way too fast, Eli and LJ are going to have an awful break-up.

"It's not you, it's me, really! I have to go write Hostel 3 now."

AND NOW THE WHOLE WORLD SUFFERS. THANKS, LJ.

It's sad but necessary. They aren't good for each other. Surely they see it now. Oh, LJ. Oh Eli. You must get out now while you still can

please please don't even talk about Hostel 3. Not even as a joke. SADFACE.

He's gotta pack up his collection of Italian schlock and Star Wars action figures and move out.

I'm so sorry *sob*

AND IT WAS A TOTALLY ARTISTIC AND FREEING EXPERIENCE OMG.

Man, dudes can be such douches about sex sometimes.

I AM SO INSPIRED NOW, AS YOU HAVE ALL TOUCHED MY LIFE. NOW I WILL SHARE YOUR NUDES WITH ALL MY BROS.

And was that photo of himself in the pool supposed to be enticing? It just made me think of Schneider from One Day at a Time.

Skip ahead to 1:13, you'll get the idea.

Edited 2009-09-28 23:32 (UTC)

I actually find him physically attractive and I was sort of repulsed by that picture, ngl.

I am not surprised he shared the n00dz with Omar and yet I am like I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, ELI ROTH. >:(

I love him most as The Bear Jew, mostly because of his hair and clothes. But then all the foxy Europeans showed up and I threw him out the window. What I found so repugnant about the picture was his attempt at a 'come hither' look, but it was more like rapeface instead.

ONTD has had enough epic TDK party posts to know by now the Joker's wise words, "If you're good at something, never do it for free."

I'd be grossed out if I knew that somewhere, Omar was touching himself to me (you know, when he's not too busy trying to prove how awesome he is by yammering about the Ramones).

Oh, hell yeah. Donowitz is way hotter than Roth. Unfortunately, the Europeans didn't sway me out of my Donowitz lust, but they are also pretty great.

I honestly... I mean, I do think giving up any sexy pics without getting anything back from Eli was dumb. (He wouldn't even give foot pics to the foot fetishists at ONTD. Which, I mean. They're feet. I've posted pictures of my feet -- anon -- for people before no problem. But then again, I love my feet. In a non-sexual way.) And I think trusting him not to share was naive, but on the other hand, he is SO the one who fucked up on that level. (That is, you know, walking down a dangerous street is stupid, but that doesn't mean it's not the mugger's fault you got mugged.)

GOD OMAR DOOM WHY SO SKEEVY.

Oh, absolutely I agree! I hope I wasn't coming off in a 'She was asking for it!' way, it just severely bothers me that Roth threw around what little celebrity he has to gain negative attention from young girls. I know, there were women of age, and everyone's free to make their own decisions, but the power balance between himself and the community was completely skewed in his favor and he knew it and reveled in it. And now Omar gets in on it, probably hoping he can get in on some of the action.

It's like a 'They're laughing at you, not with you' scenario and many of those posters still don't get it.

As an aside, I find nice hands and feet a must when it comes to my attraction to others, probably because I have pretty rockin' hands and feet.

There was mutual using going on, but the power imbalance involved definitely has turned into way more of Roth and Doom using ONTD than otherwise, imo. Then again, I know some of the people posting did get something out of it, and this just brings me back to my weird fascination with groupie culture, which is basically what just went down, but the whole thing is just. Damn, there's a lot of gross going down there.

I agree re: hands, but I think that's partially because I am a fan of hands the way QT is a fan of feet.

Definitely. Roth's comments about breaking the fourth wall and empowerment and all rang hollow to me because in the end, he benefitted the most from it. I'm sure people who participated in the shenanigans enjoyed it, but I question his sincerity when he blabs on about how much he loves ONTD and all of that. I mean, getting sent nudes is no big deal for him, as he's just going to forget about them, make Hostel 3 and have more fangirls contacting him. For every woman who doesn't mind doing such things and has a bit of fun with it, there's going to be a young girl who finds the experience to be more thrilling and exciting than it is for Roth, because it's a pretty run-of-the-mill occurrence for him. At the end of the day he's not going to give a shit about any of them and all that's left is used tissues. I suppose I took the long-winded way to say that I find it depressing to become mere wanking material that will be all too quickly discarded. There are plenty of people who don't mind, but it bums me out.

I have however, come across some savvy groupies. Many of them end up having the last laugh because years later, they're living what could be considered mundane/suburban lives while the rockstars they were involved with end up washed up (I'm particularly intrigued by the hairband/Sunset Strip scene, where such a scenario is common).

I'm the same way with hands, too. I end up attracted to artists/delicately built men and women because I find their hands to be the loveliest (and generally, if they have nice hands, they have the feet to match).

Oh yeah, I don't disagree with you there. And also, Roth going on about how it was so artistically freeing made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to throw up, because SERIOUSLY. SERIOUSLY? OH MY ACTUAL GOD. (Pro-est of tips, Eli, you don't get to co-opt terminology from third-wave feminism when you still seem to have trouble seeing women as people.) And I mean, yeah, ONTD has been referring to him as their "rebound skank" (after whatever went down with ASkars, which I'm not clear on?), but you're right that the issue is very different.

And oh man, the hairband/Sunset Strip scene is actually where I started getting weirdly obsessed with groupie culture. That whole thing is so bizarre. There used to be this online magazine: Metal Sludge? And it had this crazy letter column called "Donna's Ho Bag"? and it was seriously ridiculous. And mostly made up of everybody making fun of the guys they slept with. Except Rikki Rocket, of whom everyone was weirdly fond.

And vaguely on topic, but not entirely about groupie culture, but definitely where it and fangirl culture collides, have you ever read Caroline Sullivan's Bye Bye Baby: My Tragic Love Affair With The Bay City Rollers? It is seriously kind of amazing.

He made it sound as though as he had obtained enlightenment when all he accomplished was getting nudes from pliable young women. And then for some reason, Roth thinks it's a compliment to tell them he's jerking off to them? He seriously thinks that Hostel 2 is a feminist film and that it's not homophobic to call someone 'faggot.'
And then he gets all upset when his jackassery is pointed out to him. I have only seen Cabin Fever once, but I found a fantastic review that articulately summarizes his misogyny and perhaps, fear of women: By having Ryder Strong's character attempting to finger Jordan Ladd underneath a blanket, only to realize he had his fingers in a gaping wound on her upper thigh.

ONTD's issue with ASkars is that he's dating his co-star, Evan Rachel Wood. Apparently, she's an evil whore to them. Another issue with the Eli debacle: So many were quick to send him nudes, but ONTD will gladly berate any woman celebrity who has ever been nude; particularly Vanessa Hudgens, whose private nudes taken for her boyfriend were leaked everywhere. And to top it off, Vanessa was the one who had to publicly apologize for something that wasn't her fault. Indeed, one must be careful with nudes/sex tapes, but to berate someone for something that was initially kept private between two consenting individuals and then send nudes to someone with an ounce of celebrity (especially one who shares them with anyone) is delightful hypocrisy.

I love Metal Sludge! I used to lurk the forums because of many of the users. Most were mellowed out, middle-aged metalheads who discussed everything, from their teen years, groupie stories, to even real estate. One of my favorite users was a divorced mother who grew pot in her closet and kept her groupie activities to a simple crush on Clive Owen. No matter what generation, however, Nikki Sixx still appears to be the Holy Grail of most groupies. And because of Metal Sludge, I end up watching The Decline of Western Civilization Civilization Part II: The Metal Years a little too much on google video.

I haven't, but that sounds interesting! I never thought of the Bay City Rollers like that, to be honest. They just seem too sweet and non-sexual.

It's kind of impressive how he can make such horribly anti-woman films that still manage to pass the Bechdel test.

I had no idea what the issue was with ASkars, and OH KIDS. I wonder if this will change anyone's opinion there about celebrity nudes now. Because uh. Yeah.

I never really hung out at Metal Sludge, just read a bunch of stuff. And oh man, Nikki Sixx. (Which, ps. things I'm still not over: the guy who ghostwrote The Dirt is Neil Strauss. You know, of PUA fame.)

I'm going to waste hours of life at http://bechdel.nullium.net/. I'm sure some films I love will end up making me cringe (not so bad, I suppose).

The only crime of Evan Rachel Wood's is dating Marilyn Manson after he left Dita Von Teese. It was an admittedly shitty situation, but Evan was 19 at the time, Manson is no longer relevant, so who cares, right? They've been on a roll lately, what with shaming rape victims and such.

OH GAWD. I didn't know that! I still hang around on what is now a former Courtney Love forum, and the place exploded when it was posted that Strauss was dating her guitarist (who then dumped him for Robbie Williams). It's fitting that he'd ghostwrite The Dirt.

Yeah, I was always kind of skeeved out by the Manson/Wood thing, because waaaay too young for you, dude. But she always seemed pretty all right. I hate when people get all angry and hatey over a famous person's SO. I am so like "This just in: even if he wasn't dating someone, he still probably wouldn't fuck you. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU."

I was pretty disgusted by their relationship, too, and I was anticipating her finally finding someone more age appropriate/not Manson (who is yet another man-child who tries too hard to be controversial). Also, according to ONTD, if there's already a famous woman who dresses like its the '40s, then no one else can dress like that, either.

Freakouts over celeb S.O.s reminds me of the crazies over in the Supernatural fandom; there was a convention and the actors were there, along with their girlfriends. Fans actually claimed that their girlfriends were ruining the 'fan experience'. One of them prided herself on calling security on Jensen Ackles' girlfriend.

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gapingheadwound.livejournal.com - 2009-09-30 01:00 (UTC) - Expand

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suspiriorum.livejournal.com - 2009-09-30 01:40 (UTC) - Expand

Also, whatever, the whole fourth wall thing completely missed the point that the fanfic is NOT FOR HIM. We write it for each other and I could give a fuck if they read it. The fact that he doesn't realize why that might make people who are doing that feel uncomfortable (People who are mostly women, and who are socialized to feel crap about sexual feelings, much less rly kinky ones), he's a goddamn n00b to life.

YES.

He was treating the fanfic as if it were something to be ridiculed, because, yes, who would enjoy reading about attractive men being with each other? I wonder if perhaps he felt threatened in some way, by having his character portrayed as virile, masculine, and gay? He did remark it was out of character and that he'd never write his own gay fanfiction "because that would be gay."

And in some way, I think Eli making a big deal out of it and getting on LJ was a way of barging and declaring, I'M ACTUALLY HERE AND ACKNOWLEDGING YOUR PRESENCE SO YOU CAN TOUCH YOURSELF TO ME AND NOT JUST TO FANFICTION! ISN'T THAT NICE OF ME?

EXACTLY.

Also, that article you linked is making me laugh so hard even though it's really really terrible.

I get stuck at the first sentence Writer/director/producer/hack Eli Roth is a 33-year-old adolescent who loves to ogle titties but distrusts women and suspects deep down that there’s something kinda icky about them, laugh horrendously, then remember there's more to the review.

I know it's a great way to make all the fine, young dudes in the audience laugh, but how do you seriously mistake a gaping wound on an upper thigh with a vagina?

Oh, that's right, Mr. Roth: Yucky, dirty vaginas.

Wasn't she also, like, asleep at the time, too? I was too busy being like SHE IS ASLEEP. STOP THAT. >:( to stop and think about Roth's concern about dirty icky vaginas. (You have to Listerine your dick after!)